Moons over Miami: Chelsea on the Beach

Every December Rich people from all over the world gather to celebrate the holidays by traveling to the sun drenched, silicone filled, latin loving, Hawaiian-shirt-wearing town of Miami Florida to spend huge amounts of money on contemporary art, which will adorn their walls during the Christmas season, and hopefully impress their equally wealthy neighbors, and perhaps cause bits of jealousy amongst the collectors that weren't invited to the Deitch Party or given their VIP pass to the Nada Party (which fetches a $125 cover).

I've heard rumors of 18 Fairs this year! What the FUCK! 18 Fairs? Also, rumor has it that this maybe the last year that Art Basel comes to Miami, which is the Fair that makes the Most MONEY, and is the Real reason why people go to Miami. The rest of the fairs are for the galleries that aren't in the cool kids club yet, but have hopes of playing with big boys and girls someday. Some of the new cool kids play at NADA, which has the Over Priced young artist that will eventually fade into obscurity or fall of the face of the art world earth.

Then of course you have the ever battling Scope Art Fair vs. Pulse Art Fair. If these fairs had a free entrance they might be worth walking through. You may find some decently priced work of young young artist that will hopefully make it to NADA or Basel within the upcoming years. But a collector would need to have a really keen eye to decipher crap from shit, and make a difficult decision that may not require the advice of a over priced consultant that buys name brand art and talks the bull shit talk as if they have their finger on the "pulse" of the young art world. 

So... my flight leaves on Sunday. I'll be there all week to experience the extravaganza to its fullest. I plan on drinking my way to the top, and in-between the drinking I'll hit the beach and run into everyone that I always see in Chelsea every week at the openings. It's going to be Chelsea on the Beach. 

I'll report back, maybe even while I am there...